What I want to do is try to explain to you why I'm a good bit more happy these days than usual. Yeah, I'm just as surprised as you are. I mean, it's not as if I don't have anything to moan about. But I think the more you find who you are and become comfortable with that, the better.
Basically, I think that if you really want to figure yourself out, start by asking the question 'Do I deserve to happy?'. It's the most personal way you can analyse yourself I think.

And it helps to lift your mood too (if the answer is 'Yes', obviously), particularly if you're going through some shit. In order to come to the conclusion of it though you need to ask yourself your own series of questions.

Whether they seem random, significant, challenging and difficult, just whatever comes to you, the answer basically just has to be honest you know, because there is no point in lying to yourself, if you do that you're basically going to end up delusional. Here's some just off the top of my head -

Am I a racist?
Have I killed anyone?
Am I a cunt?
Have I stabbed anyone in the back?
Do I irrationally insult decent people for fuck all reason?
Have I ever betrayed a friend?
Am I a dirty big liar?
Am I selfish?
Do I wish bad things for decent people?
Is 'Schadenfreude' my biggest hobby?
Am I a spoiled brat?
Have I hurt somebody badly when I didn't need to?
Am I delusional?
Am I narrow minded?
Am I shallow?
Do I use people?
Am I psychotic?
Am I arrogant?
Am I pretentious?
Am I lazy?
Am I a United fan?
Do I trip people up like that penguin did?
Do I pee through people's letterboxes?


Right. That's enough. Basically the list could go on and on. Here's where I have to stress that what you must do, for every single question you can ask yourself, is be honest. It's crucial.
There's really just no point in trying to fool yourself. Because if that's what you're doing and you come to the 'Are you delusional?' question, you must then answer, 'Yes'. Which you'd hardly do.

For me, I can say honestly, the answer to every one of those questions is 'no'.
Like any person I can be accused of plenty of things, but to cut a long story short, 'no', is the answer.
I know then that I am not a bad person, in fact, I could go further (woah, hold on now) and say that I am a good person (get the fuck outta here).
I don't tend to display many qualities of arrogance or delusion (or maybe I'm so delusional that I think I'm not delusional, I mean, by now I could write the basic and elaborate laws of delusion, having witnessed enough of it).

One thing I do not want to do is big myself up to be better than I am, and why the fuck would I?
To me personally it makes no sense to do this, how can I live up to an idea of myself that is better than the actual reality?
This would have me operating on a different weird level, one that would make me very uncomfortable and awkward, that would eventually destroy my confidence when I realise that I'm not so much a Jimi Hendrix, but maybe more of a Jimmy Magee.
I know my strengths, and I know my weaknesses. I have no qualms in blatantly telling you what either of them are. If I am good at something, I will say it, but I will not say I am better than I am, likewise, if I am bad at something, I will not hold back in saying just how bad I am. If you ask me I will tell you.

I suppose then comes the second question.
What does a happy person deserve?
And quite simply, a good person deserves to be happy, there's no denying this, unless you're a plank.
But, for me, it goes deeper than that (no really, it does!) if you are a good person you should look to be an example. No, that doesn't mean you go around flaunting how wonderfully good and virtuous you are and all that, just more sort of motivating those around him to do the same.
Because the other way, would just be some sort of delusional arrogance.
And basically all I mean is lead by example and don't be a cunt. I've said before that my theory in life is 'Don't be a dickhead', and I stand by it, all the irrational criticism and non-productive giving out you can do is all just negativity for the sake of it and it gets fucking annoying. If you're gonna moan have a point to it.

It's kinda important to show that you can be happy (Which is the gayish generic term I'm being forced to use through lack of good imagination) while being a decent fuckin guy.
This isn't stressed enough in the world, everyone wants to be cool n edgy and negative n mysterious but fuck OFF with that shit, show me a goth that ever had something good to say. All these fads that you see are just new ways of being a dickhead, emo basically means 'Don't smile and look miserable, even when half the world's much worse off than you are'.

Some people genuinely think that in order for me to be happy I've to act cuntish and do cunty things, and to be honest, I did too, at one stage this year I honestly thought that the sum of all things was simply, 'cunt = happy'.
But it's not the truth at all and really the sum of all things is, 'cunt = cunt'.

And I'm happy enough not being one. I mean I can make mistakes, of course, I'm human, but I try not to make any mistake without apologising or admitting what I've done, and how many people can say that?
And even if my own honesty has put me in shit situations, the sweetest thing about it all is being able to say, 'I am not a dick'.
Which, is a nice, fucking, feeling. I wasn't brought up to be a liar.

But I know it's not that easy, I mean, anyone can make mistakes, you coulda answered 'Yeah' to half of them questions above, but if you are willing to correct mistakes then you must not be so bad (obviously 'My bad' doesn't quite excuse you if you've killed a guy).
Unless of course, you plain and simple don't want to, and you'd prefer to just, stay a cunt? Maybe. But personally, I do not care about people like that, and I mean, at all, even when I'm trying hard to.

You could even say that is a downfall of mine, that I don't care much for the people of shag all character in the world, I couldn't give a fuck what they do or say. There is no benefit to me caring. None at all.
But I don't think that's so much a downfall. I'm not out to purge planet Earth, I am just not concerned about people with giant big cuntlike traits. To me, you are just nothing. And either the reason for or result of mass amounts of stupidity.

And that has been a massive factor in my own happiness of late. The knowning that, at least if things aren't going well, I can say, well you know what Tom, things might not be going well but you deserve to be happy. That's not gonna necessarily make me or you instantly happy when the chips are down, and I've nothing against someone feeling depressed when they just cannot help it, but it helps man. Seriously ... (",) !
And for the sake of fucking mankind, I am going to always try to be as happy as possible, to show some people that, you don't have to act like a dick to be happy. I believe that if you're a dick with the intention of staying a dick, you don't deserve to be happy. You don't deserve anything you have. That people have died for good causes and that you're just the guy that pisses on their caskets.
Go fuck yourself.

And also, when you realise who the dicks of the world are, you suddenly don't give a FUCK what they say.
I have never been so unafraid of being who I am, because I know, if I am insulted or abused by idiots that have no reason to be against me, I will very quickly not care, in my thoughts and feelings, what that idiot says.


But here, look, I am not trying to say I am this gloriously perfect good guy.
I'm not, I make huuuuge mistakes, always, but I learn from my mistakes. Or at least I try very hard to, even if it is hard. The mistakes I make are usually, but not always, new ones, and l learn from them too. I know I can lie, be selfish and be a dick.
But I want my shortcomings only to point out my humanity, and it's up to me to be on the better side of humanity.
I can be difficult, but I'd rather be difficult than easy. (Buuuurn)
The reason I'm critical of people and things is because I want the best. I want to fix the problems that this country and many other ones have.
Around me I find there's just a lack of genuine goodness, and human vulnerability, everyone's acting so tough and care free but you can't fuckin fool me. Not now. I'm not thick, I study people every minute of the day. I have learned more than most of the street smart drama queens, the smart ass drama kings and loud mouth empty vessels.
Some people think they are so smart when they act tough, but it's more human to be vulnerable than it is to robotically dead inside.
All I want, is for people not to be dickheads. And for the people that aren't, just to be, happy.
And that's why I do my best to always help my friends, because the people I count as friends deserve to be happy.



If you deserve to be happy.
Keep it that way.
The world's in a mess because of greed, selfishness and a lack of character.
Don't be a dickhead.


Thank you.




PS - I had this post up a couple of nights ago but I made it private in order to edit it when I got the time, I felt it was a little too 'off the top of my head'. Also if anyone's got any criticisms I would genuinely like to hear them. Thanks.
HOLLA.

Well I'm not one to pay attention to the vast amounts of crap written under YouTube videos anymore, but that is second to none the greatest statement I've heard in a while.

When I was younger I did used to look at the arguments going on on sites like YouTube and I'd get genuinely angry. The stupidity of people used to affect me much more directly because I couldn't understand it. I'd sit there saying to myself, that's not even an argument! What a dick! But one thing I'd never do is sign on and start arguing back, because even though people do that and try to say, here mate, 'you're outta line' or whatever, when you enter a race full of idiots there is no winner, only losers.
And me, I'm much more glad of the structured philosophical argument when you can point out the falsities in what the other guy is saying until truth is eventually reached at the end. If the argument is good enough that is.

But me I don't think I could say so much in so few words. If I could I'd get a t shirt made with that statement 'Stop trying to offend... It's boring... You're boring' and wear it every day. It hits the nail on the head not just in whatever was going on there but many an occasion in society. Plain and simple, it's fucking genius. I can't actually remember what I was watching when I seen that. It was half three in the morning and I'd had six cans and stayed up with my mate Phil watching Hardy Bucks and Hey Arnold! but I think it was after I'd been watching a video by The Strokes.
I wish I could remember because I'd like to give that guy a thumbs up. For pointing out that empty vessels make the most noise and you can be as noisy as you want and still be a boring predictable thick cunt.

I don't read any of the arguments on things like YouTube anymore. I don't really use it at all. I'm not one for watching music videos or whatever, but I guess I just love seeing The Strokes in their prime way back when they were untouchable and were effortlessly throwing around rock n roll jems like an idiot does insults and tasteless jokes. Burn in a fiery chasm, dickhead.

I am in a seriously good mood. And I said the same thing yesterday morning, I think I've built up an unbeatable mental state of complex happiness. Really I have no idea what that means I just think it sounds cool.
Right, I have a 1500 word essay due tomorrow and a German oral exam. The essay is on why folk stopped walkin on all four limbs and started walkin on the more stylish two limbs, as modelled by nearly everyone these days, it could have been because they wanted to see further and use their hands for using tools, but I think it was maybe because they just fancied a tug. And that will be my general argument. Of course this then goes hand in hand with the oral exam, because people then developed even crazier, better ideas. And we haven't looked back since.


You know I haven't put up any pictures in a while.
I'm on the case.
Have a good day (unless you're a cunt).

When I seen Deerhunter I sat on a bin with my feet up, a pint of Guinness in my hand, and Dez gazing away standing beside me.
Deerhunter, despite how they can when they fuckin want to, don't rock out in the typical sense that much. They are however incredibly loud and intense, always, so sitting there in some sort of semi drunken trance was really kind of fitting.

It was different in every way when I seen Bradford Cox last night. Head honcho for all intents and purposes of Deerhunter. I went by myself, I wasn't really bothered convincing anyone to go and I sort of wanted to go alone. Not in a miserable way. I haven't been this happy with who I am for a long time and I just kinda thought, you know, I don't need anyone right now.
So I strolled in and made myself at home in Whelans.

I think maybe because it was the laid back humour I was in, but when the man who calls himself Atlas Sound came out with just his guitar, a harmonica and a big eskimo jacket on, I wasn't disappointed. You know, that were wasn't this band of straglers with him and a stage full of guitars, synths, effects pedals and drums. It all sounded like Bob Dylan's take on Deerhunter. Which was cool.
Of course Bob Dylan isn't an eccentric homosexual chatterbox that loves to have fun with the crowd like Bradford does, but that only made it more enjoyable. His weird monologues had everyone laughing, he just sat there, laid back to the point that you know he's kinda stoned, from drugs or jetlag or both, and eventually he said so himself. Both.
His character alone just filled the void left by all the guitars, synths and drums. And though Deerhunter are getting big now, when they inevitably consolidate the massive indie cult following that's growing around them, it'll be cool to say I seen Bradford in Whelans. Singing his own songs in that Bob Dylan meets Deerhunter (he had lots of tapes and effects pedals at his feet) way, stopping to giggle at it all.
I like Bradford Cox a lot. He's an extremely friendly semi loner, a highly opionated audiophile that gives the false impression he's care free and happy when really he's got all sorts of problems. But he looks like he's getting the better of them. And last night I felt oddly the same.





Anyway. To stop mouth tuggin about modern indie greats. It's been about 43 seconds since I've complained about something. This is obviously a freak accident and I assure you it won't happen again.
So who's seen Twilight? What do you all think? For young knight in shining armour hungry girls yeah?

It's kind of fascinating though you know. At least I think so. What makes it so screamingly exciting? I seen the first film and it's kinda dull you know. The romance didn't encaptivate me, that handsome young actor is really a terribly posey young actor, and it all seemed kind of ridiculous sometimes. I mean, why does he recreate Derek Zoolanders 'Blue Steel' look everytime the camera's on him?
It's not terrible. It's about two notches above terrible. But sequels are almost never better than originals and I'd imagine the new one's a couple of notches worse off than the original. Even though, yeah, It's got a 17 year old with the body of Peter Andre ten years ago to make up this elaborate love triangle and all sorts of madess.

I don't think it's because I'm not a girl. Two of my favourite films are extremely romantic, in fact oddly enough the best film I've seen all year was about two people falling for each other and one of them happened be, yeah, a vampire! They happened to be ten years old too. One of the oddest little romances I've ever seen, but you could also say more convincing and compelling than the Twilight films. But you know, my mate Ross, he loves the Twilight films, my cousin Col likes them, it's not actually a bad story. I think the books could be rather good.
But if the Twilight films, not necessarily the books, prove one thing, is that popularity never implies quality.
I can't wait until 2010 so I can talk about the greatest records of 09.
I'll have people looking at me thinking, listen, I've heard three Kasabian songs this year and I've heard none by this 'Animal Collective'. Clearly you're wrong like.
Ha! Okay. Sorry, it won't be that obvious. I'm so chilled right now. I haven't changed since I got up. I haven't really anything else to say. I've been thinking about my new found general happiness and the fact that it's getting very easy to pick myself up when I'm down now even when I'm alone and I'm kinda in the humour to go on about it and explain it so maybe it could be helpful for someone else?
The key is not to be dead inside, it's to be alive inside.
Like Guinness.



I'll do that soon I guess. There's panic still possible in the coming days. Assignment due for Tuesday. Exams I'm fucked for because of ill health missed classes and trouble with departments but. It's not my fault, I'm doing well considering how difficult it's been for months now. I'll do even better when the difficulty is gone.
I'll see the neurologist, it'll interest the hell out of me, and I'll be sorted. For now I'm just going to take double the meds I'm on and hope I don't sort of blackout like I did last time I took two tablets in one night. It's what I'm being told to do now. Course I didn't mention that last point to the doctor. Ha.
Ah well.


That film is called Let the Right One In by the way.







And you'd want to be very fucking afraid of that chick.

And so it would seem right now.

Perhaps it was fate, or perhaps it wasn't, as people that believe in fate tend to also believe in fairies. But it was something.
When I got to the pub last night a little later than I expected, there was talk of, in my opinion, the greatest player that ever lived. Zinedine Zidane.

Two friends of mine here had opposing opinions when the French camera's rolled over to Zidane taking his seat for the match (looking hawk-eyed, and like he wanted to play, the divil).
The debate was about Zidane's final antics in a France shirt. And it got a bit heated. As it always does in the pub with some of the lads, who shall remain nameless.

(not actual word for word quotes but to the effect of)
Ste - 'That's all he'll be remembered for, getting sent off for loafing your man in the world cup final in his last game ever'.
Callo - eh. I can't remember what Callo said but I remember him being defensive and muttering something.

So Ste continued until I pipped in, jokingly of course, saying
'Yeah gobshites like you will remember him for that, we'll remember him for his incredible football'.

And that of course, shut him up a bit. Though it was all in good fun.
And here we are, in a similar position. The controversial act of another French legend. Now, in 2006 when Zidane did what he did, I was devastated, he is one of my favourite ever players and seeing as how they were playing Italy, who have ten times the amount of cunty footballers France will ever have, I rooted for the French. Now I am devastated for much different reasons.

Right first of all. I'm just as hurt as the next Irishman here. But I will not fucking talk about Thierry Henry like he just drove a school bus full of innocent adorable schoolchildren into a chasm of fucking fire. No. I will not. To me, and not just as an Arsenal fan here, I find the criticism of him so over the top I think people are losing the fucking plot. By all means, be angry, I'm angry, I wanted to smack him one right then just like you did. But all this talk about his career in tatters and his reputation and all of this shite.
Okay maybe I'm saying this too early, I have such a fucking hangover right now because last night I drank myself to oblivion. And I'm struggling to get a proper run of sentences going here but alll I want to do is offer at least some perspective. If you're a friend of mine of Facebook you would've seen an update from me last night that mentioned how Ireland losing wasn't even the most disappointing part of the night (per se). Now obviously it was but something that really got on my nerves was how I sat down between two lads I know who looked as sullen as anyone. I went over not to stand up for Thierry Henry. The fuck I did. I went over to say here look proud! We played these cunts off the park. Of course yeah the reality is we are not going to the World Cup. And I had sort of forgotten that for a sec. It is devastating. To really and truely deserve to be there next summer, and being robbed of the opportunity. But when I asked the question that if we had've played the way the French did and won the way the French did, would you have celebrated also like the French did? The answer was. OF COURSE.

Right so two things became very clear to me right then. Firstly, I'd given this chap far too much credit by going over and trying to get a bit of cheer out of him, and I knew I wouldn't be talking to him much longer. Secondly, more importantly, that all the talk of the moral highground in the pub last night and around Ireland is mostly a load of complete and utter BOLLOX.
Why? because if it had've been Robbie Keane that handled it to Richard Dunne, we all would have sparked a fucking frenzy. So when I see any of this 'Any French person celebrating is a scumbag' crap I know that, okay, fair enough, you're angry, and I was sick too looking at the French, who are the shittest fans in the entire fucking world, celebrate like crazy that they're going to South Africa on the back of a shit performance and robbing their much better, heartier opponents. But if that is what you truely believe, that you believe the French are 'scumbags', and that Thierry Henry deserves to fucking die. Then you are either a hypocrite of epic proportion, an airhead, or you just seriously need to get a grip. If you get that grip then, well, I forgive you, of course.
I don't know. Maybe there needs to be a period when people should just be allowed let their anger out. So okay, go ahead. Just make sure you see the perspective at the end of it. Because even though I can in the cold light of day. I am too just so, so sad.

Yes I had tears in my eyes last night. And I do fuckin now almost. But what I will say is that my God were our boys fucking heroes. I think the people who can be put in the category of 'epic fucking hypocrites' are the same people that shouted 'PRICK!' at the televsion every time Robbie didn't reach the ball or overran something or whatever.
Well they can go to hell. Robbie Keane is a fucking champion, and he played out of his skin. And he scored and it was fucking beautiful. Every single one of our players deserve praise of the highest fucking order. If you really want to do something, don't start bitching about the French, praise the lads who outplayed them for 120 minutes. To me they are just lions. Fucking lions. What's ironic is that if it had not have been for certain few people all them years ago, maybe we would have three lions on our shirt. But no cunt with three lions on his shirt ever plays with that much fucking heart. Keith Andrews. Didn't he play for fucking MK Dons not long ago? He ran and harried and worked and worked and worked and worked for every single fucking second. And Damien Duff. Jesus Christ. He was always a legend to Ireland fans but after that performance that even had tears in the eyes of Eamon Dunphy, you have to say he is just fucking, spectacular. And though I could go ahead and name them all. I just want to thank those lads for representing their country to the best of their ability, Robbie Keane would play till he died for us and all you cunts calling him a prick, you can go royally fuck yourself. You know what, you are no better than Thierry Henry was last night.


So we don't go to South Africa next year.
No World Cup. No special nights like last night had we have won.
And really there is no consolation. But at least this morning you can say 'I am proud to be Irish', rather than 'I am lucky to be French'.

Fuck them. They won't get anywhere, and we'll laugh when they get knocked the fuck out, for not deserving to be there and for having a manager that took a team to the European Championships based on astrology.
You thick fucking cunt.


COME. ON. IRELAND.

Right so I'm up and writing at this ungodly hour for a particular reason.
I feel like I have a lot to say right now as things have been going around in my head like mad for the last little while, before taking some weird form or shape roughly as I was falling asleep last night. So as soon as my mind was barely conscious it lit up like a flame put to a gas pipe. The only problem is I tend to say exactly what I want to say in my mind at the oddest of times, and I'll be lucky if it comes out as coherent as it was not that long ago (about 6 in the morning). But the reason I'm up now and writing is because I believed it was worth getting up for and trying to remember. It was something worth saying.

So essentially what the focus of my thoughts were was Ireland and the people that live in it.
Let me say one thing that you do not hear enough in this country.


I love my country. And I am proud to be Irish.


Yes. I'm not kidding. I can give you reasons as to why I'm saying this, reasons that anyone could say, but I will leave it for now. What I really want to say is how much I am bothered by this country today. I've heard a lot of people say things like this, or worse, that they 'hate' Ireland and would rather be somewhere else. This, I cannot fucking stand. It's shit like that that has this country in such fucking rag order. What sickens me is that everyone has this grand assumption that the grass really is greener on the other side. Well I say, it isn't. A good friend and a great man I know used to say that, look, if you want to get out of this country so bad because you hate it, or think everywhere else is better, then all you are doing, no matter where it is you go, is taking the problem with you, because Ireland is not a bad country, or worse, deserving of the disdain that a lot of people speak of it with, why do you think so many tourists come here to see this country and why do you think the Irish people are so much loved around the world?

That I have always loved.
The fact that all you are doing is taking the problem with you. And that problem is you. Who honestly can tell me that the probelms of Ireland are worse than anywhere else in the world? Who is insane enough to honestly think that? Open your daft mind. Look at India, India is now known as a 'superpower', yet I have never seen such poverty in my life, such an unbalance of wealth that leaves so many people homeless and even disfigured, wherever you look. Look at America, look at the huge amount of problems that you know about that country and admit, that you don't even know half of them. Look even at a place like Paris. Yes. Paris. Anyone thinking of jetting off there because it is such a glorious wonderland that Ireland could never have needs to cop on and see that half of Paris is essentially slums, maybe more than half, and then the other side, which is aesthetically beautiful of course, is just as unbalanced as India. You have the rich, and the pretentious, that look down on everyone, a place where a bottle of perfume would cost you a weeks wage, and a coffee in a cafe would cost you probably the same as what would feed a family in India for a week. Fuck. It maybe would cost the price of what would feed a family in Ireland for a week.


And so what I want to say is that, contrary to popular belief, there is no such thing as a beautiful sprawling metropolis on this earth that is problem free. No.
But maybe what the Irish want is not a place to escape to that is problem free, but maybe a place to go where they won't have the responsibility to have to fix those problems. This is, in a nutshell what bothers me about the people of this country. Everybody blames everybody else. Yes. We definitely do have a shit government. But the problem there is bigger than you can imagine. The real problems of our government and country don't fall into the hands of a certain few people. The problems with how this country is run and how it operates is a problem that society is at fault for. Society is the problem. The moaners that just want things fixed so they can go on living like 'Janitors that won the lotto' again. I don't know what the exact problems of society are but I do know that a percentage of it is greed. And a massive, copious, shocking amount of short sightedness.


It is quite a feat that this entire country doesn't need glasses with the fucking unreal amount of short sightedness displayed by nearly everyone. I look at myself, I am not a boy (despite the boyish qualities of Tom Sawyer) but I'm a man. I am 21 soon. I am not afraid to be 21 and I am not sorry that I am no longer a boy. But I look at people I know and people to see and I see the problems unfold in sometimes subtle but sometimes obvious ways. If you look at the people my age so many of them you'd swear think that they are going to be 20 forever. That there is no consequences to their actions. All they do is display the very same short sightedness that I am talking about day in day out. I see people get tattoos like they will never be older and think, what the fuck did I get that for? I see people that chain smoke, like they will never be old and suffer so badly because of it. I see people that are just dying to get out of this country simply because they would rather not have anything to do about it's problems.

They. Are fucking morons. And I am not going to apologize for saying this either. They display the same short sightedness that the government showed when driving the country into ruins. IT IS THE VERY SAME THING. All people do is fucking moan about their misfortune yet they have no idea what real misfortune is. And when things bite them on their asses they complain about what other people have done that's landed them, or someone they know, in such a situation. You fucking THICK. It's your fucking fault! All you are is a greedy swine that would rather have no responsibilty, and would rather have no consequences for your retarded actions.
I am not blaming particular people for being their own downfall, but rather the ineptness of so many people that is ruining this country directly for others and indirectly for themselves. A lot of people. Do not deserve their holidays.

I do not want to live my fucking life, for two weeks out of every year. I do not want to work, simply so I can go to Lanzarote for two weeks out of every year. Fuck that to fucking hell and back in an on fire Nissan Micra. What I want is to be happy, for fifty fucking weeks in a year. I want to be happy always. Sometimes I forget that your own happiness is the most important thing in the world But I also know that there is a massive difference in what is happy on a friday night and what is happy every other day of the week, wether it is lashing out of the heavens or freezing cold.

I do not know exactly what I can do to change things. But I know that I am here to try my level best to do something. There's a reason why sometimes I go around with such an unimpressed face on me like I've got something to say. Well you know what, it's because, get this, I'm unimpressed, and I have something to say
I am not happy with this country or it's people. I think people need to change their narrow minded and brattish opinion of this country, which despite it's size has given the world so much.

When the list of greatest novels is called out Ulysses is so often number one. It was written by an Irish man. James Joyce. When it comes to music, we have acts like U2 and My Bloody Valentine. Who made some of the greatest records you could hear. Look at our rugby team, how many people do you know that play rugby? But yet ours is one of the best rugby teams in the world. Look at the acting talent, Daniel Day Lewis. Who is a better actor than Daniel Day Lewis? Look at the footballers we have produced, George fucking Best. He might have played for Northern Ireland but that is still on this fucking island (Though they can have Snow Patrol). Or Liam Brady or Johnny Jiles or Ronnie Whelan or Roy Keane, Robbie fucking Keane.
Look at the poets, the fucking rake of them! Look at the people, Michael Collins, people that didn't only give us our freedom but who's actions led to other nations freedoms also. Look at Father Ted! Is there really anything funnier than Ted? Is Fraiser?! Little Britain?! Fuck off. Ireland is, or was, a country of incredible accomplishment and talent. And it is beautiful. And personally, if it was never perfect at one particular time, I can't imagine it ever being worse than it is now and by that you now know I do not mean, because of the government.

If I could live in one country, it would be Ireland. But not this one. The one it could be and the one it should be. People are lazy, greedy, stupid, short sighted and have the attention spans of fish. That is not the governments fault, that is our fault, that is the peoples fault. There are so many hypocrites in this country that I can barely get through a day without being angry anymore. Because I am angry. I am faced with all of this daily by the same people who bitch and moan about the 'state of things now' and who want to just get out of it. Please. For the love of fucking God. Pull your finger out.

What annoys me also is how people see a man like Bono. How people hate him, so much because of the fact that, just because he is from the back arse of Dublin, what could he ever do? This dog ignorance actually exists! Everywhere! My dad always said that if Bono was French no Irish man would have a problem with him. And he's fucking right! I know Bono is not perfect, he is arrogant and he has an incredible ego. But I, will not, discount anything he is at least trying to do on the basis that he is from 'the back arse of Dublin'. What can be said about that is that the Irish have either a defeatest attitude or a fucking inferiority complex. Well I don't. I know I can achieve the same as any man in a country like France. The French? I do not particularly care about the French. Yes it is an outstanding nation but my God lads it has problems of it's own and they are not small either. What I am concerned about is my country, and it's people. And if I die trying I will do something about the real problems of this country. You, and me. For letting it get this way. Moaning about it. And doing nothing about it but go to Budget fucking Travel to book a holiday out of it. Well fuck that. Half of the cunts in this country, half of the cunts I know, have budget fucking intelligence. You CUNTS. Dog ignorance must be put fucking down.




Thank you.

I've just taken my medication that I need to take for getting rid of those pesky tension heaches, which makes me feel a bit




sometimes. So if I trail off and sound wasted towards the end don't mind that, it only means it's workin. Which it rarely does anymore. But I plan on taking another one later when I hop into my leaba. I'm putting some distance between tablets as I'm only supposed to take one a day. A couple of days ago I took two in the space of an hour and pretty much felt like I was gonna black out for a bit. I was so tired but afraid to fall asleep. Not a good combination.

I missed my bed last night but I wasn't really complaining. At least not until I was woken up at 3 in the morning by wasted, tapped country fuckers. Then I was complaining. But only on the inside. On the inside I took several peoples lives and ran around throwing loose organs through windows!
But on the outside..... coolness fucking personified. Until I threw a packet of rashers at some girls face, which was an accident, I was aiming for the really annoying guy beside her who was throwing popcorn around like rice at a Greek wedding. Prat. I felt like I had fallen into the popcorn machine in the cinema when I stood up. All I wanted was some SLEEP. But ah well. I apologised to the girl who's name I can't remember, I said, I'm sorry, my aim isn't so good when I've been woken up at three in the morning. Which she understood. But eventually I decided to call my friend Mel who also lives on campus to ask her could I crash on her couch. And to my utter joy she answered her phone and said it was okay. I felt bad waking her up in the middle of the night because she's having trouble sleeping lately. So I owe her one.

So right now I'm tired and a bit all over the place. Good night. Lack of sleep. Bit confused. Just how it should be after a rockin' party.
I'm writing out of boredom, and I'm too tired to do anything else.
And here comes the



feeling.
It's not so nice. My heart is beating so hard and it's so uncomfortable when you're tired.

I had various points to make but I'm just gonna leave it for now.
Have you been Yo La Tangoed?

Right well.
If my idea has seen the light of day it would mean that this is back and available to the public eye, so hello public (hi Dez).

If anyone's reading this however that's not seen my journal before, hello.
I've had this since January and write in it quite often, whenever I feel like I have something to say, basically. Now it's been a while since my last entry, the longest since I started, but I've been busy and not well enough to write. But it looks like that situation isn't going to change for a bit, so I'm going to write anyway, because I hate ignoring my journal, as I love my journal, yes, I do, it keeps me sane, it doesn't make me feel as much like I'm talking to myself, because I don't talk to myself, and I definitely don't trail on like a person would if he was talking to himself. . .


. . .


So if I go to this everytime I feel like I have something to say, then what is it I want to say this time?
Eh. Well nothing in particular right now actually, I just kinda want to put something down to get the ball rolling again.
Some things related to music (a subject that, shockingly, hasn't come up much in my journal before) came into my head last night, and I thought, God, I better fucking remember this in the morning.
Well. Eh. I didn't. But I can assure you that whatever it was I thought of was really insightful and inspiring. You probably would've picked up your guitar or your piano (in my journal everyone has superhuman strength) this afternoon after reading it and produced a musical phenomenon. In five minutes flat. Which I'd demand royalties for. Which you would not comply to. Which would make me angry. Which would make you say 'Fuck off'. Which would make me brick your gaff. Which would make us have a bit of a falling out. So I'm GLAD I didn't remember.
You scabby cunt.


So yeah. News.
UCD - Great college. Lots of lovely people. Surprisingly good at Philosophy. Not so good at Archaeology.
Health - headaches. Sucks balls. Seeing doctors. Hopefully will be changed soon.
Highlight of the last while - seeing Yo La Tengo. Possibly the greatest gig I've ever been to.




So. Again. If you've never seen my journal before here's what to expect.


Lots, of this -




A smidgeon of this -



Unfortunately endless amounts of this -



And probably not enough of this -




So although it's half ten at night, I wish you a good day.
Also, feel free in the future to comment on my posts if you so choose. If you have something to add to my thoughts, go ahead, if you want to correct me on something then GO TO HELL YOU CUNT I'M ALWAYS RIGHT. I mean. Do so accordingly.
At your own risk.


HOLLA.